Family Law Mediation: A Step towards Healthy Child Custody

Going through a divorce is hard — not only for the partners but also for the children. At times the children are too young to understand the complications leading to the failed marriage of their parents. Some may be mature enough to agree with the circumstances, yet a feeling of insecurity continues to haunt them through out their lives. This isn’t an easy situation for parents either, as, despite the separation, they still want to be a part of their children’s lives. This leads to a disagreement between the two and in the majority of the cases, invites a legal battle for child custody.

However, not all parents want to fight a long and tiring legal case. Family law mediation can yield a harmonious solution in such cases.

Mediation in easy and simple language, is the negotiation on child possession, after a couple’s legal separation. Unlike court proceedings where the judiciary decides on the final settlement, a mediator does not give any verdict. He/she can instead help the couple to reach an agreement that is acceptable to both the parties. Mediators also help in enhancing communication between estranged couples.

If you’re planning to divorce, ensure the following before filing for child custody mediation:

1. Get a decent understanding of child custody rights

2. Prepare your own justification of why you should be given the custody of your child/children

3. Should the child/children stay with the other partner, suggest your visiting schedules

4. Get all important documents related to your child/children

The following steps are involved in the mediation process:

Consulting A Mediator — The meeting with the mediator should not revolve around your blaming each other for the failure of the marriage. It should be focussed entirely on a solution that’s in the best interest of the child/children.

Identifying The Issues — The work of the mediator is to categorize the issues. Some issues can have a prompt settlement while others may be more complex and take time to be resolved. Often fathers come up with questions such as ‘how much child support should I pay’? Such questions are difficult to respond to, as each partner will have a different outlook. In such issues, the mediator’s opinion can be crucial.

Discussing Solutions — This is entirely dependent on the partners. To ensure smooth working of the mediation process, partners need to listen to each other and openly discuss what they think is fair for their child/children. The final result should always cater to the healthy upbringing of the child.

Drafting and Signing the Custody Agreement — After the issues are successfully resolved, the mediator will then proceed to prepare a ‘child custody agreement’. This document should be reviewed carefully to get a thorough understanding of the contract. This proposal is then submitted to the court for approval.

The time taken for the entire mediation process depends on factors such as parents’ willingness to reach an agreement and the complexity of the custody issue.

A broken relationship is always painful. ‘Repair’, instead of ‘replace’ can in many cases, save this pain. If, however, reconciliation is ruled out, put yourself in your child’s shoes, keep your ego aside and take measures to minimise the impact of the separation on your young ones.